looking for advise from lawyers or other divorced people

[bethanyb1201]

Ya ya I know why put your personal problems/stories online. Well in my everyday world I appear to have it all together. I am looked at as a hard ass so I have noone to talk to. NOW to my problem. When the bitch and I got divorced the wife took me to the cleaners. We had our house paid for and no debt other than her car payment. I offered her everything as long as I could see my boy on weekends(I am gone for work every week). This bitch was hell bent on taking all my baseball cards. Her lawyer had the value of my collection from beckett which helped me out in the long run. Anyway she made such a big deal about getting my cards the judge gave me the house and let her have the cards. She got screwed and she knew it. I was also ordered to pay attorney fees for her. I traded her that for everything in the house. So in the end i ended up with my clothes, my recliner and a house. I kid you not she took everything out of the house. She didnt even leave me a plate and a fork. Well I thought tje worse was over. Then the child support order came in.After this witch took everything I have to pay her 1400 a mth and all my boys medical bills. She is threatening to take me bavk to court to get more. I have no clue what to do. I refuse to pay a lawyer any more money. I have no possessions other than a tv,recliner,clothes,house. My question is could she possibly get more out of me? This #@#@#@#@ sucks.... She is mad now because she has racked up cc debit after our split and I dont have any bills. Thinking about selling house and hiding the money and living in the woods.

[Bob Loblaw]

Check the child support guidelines for your state. One would thibk that this would have been agreed upin in your settlement.

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[kerg]

Unfortunately, lawyer time.

I wouldn't think that you would have to pay more child support unless something significantly changed (like you got a new job that paid more or she has the kids more than you agreed upon)

Good luck, crappy situation.

[natbornkiller]

your fracked

the kid(s?) are how old ..... just think of all those years dealing with her ...

[free2131]

Not sure about any advice, but I know where you can get lime, a shovel, and lots of bleach for decent price.

[itradeerrors]

Not sure about any advice, but I know where you can get lime, a shovel, and lots of bleach for decent price.

If you choose this option pay with cash.;) Unfortunately your only decent option is to pay more $ to a blood sucking lawyer. They are the most worthless pieces of trash on the planet till you need one.

[Texans81]

I kid you not she took everything out of the house. She didnt even leave me a plate and a fork.

I'm sorry I don't mean to joke about this crappy situation you are dealing with buy man does this scene just fit perfectly with what you're saying, lol...

m5vOArr1dXU

[Siberian13]

I know it sucks about the kids/money/lawyers/possessions etc. but it sounds like you got away from a real monster. So there is good news

[tacoma34]

Not sure about any advice, but I know where you can get lime, a shovel, and lots of bleach for decent price.

http://i.imgur.com/pFU4aEv.jpg

[jarrodsalas]

Unless your wages have changed she has no leg to stand on. At least in Texas that is how it is.

I lucked out and the mother of my daughter is fair. She allowed me to negotiate child support DOWN from the recommendation of the attorney general.

[jubei777]

If lawyer up but if offer up a cash settlement for full custody of your kid. That way you don't ha e to deal with her anymore.

[JMarchand1981]

If lawyer up but if offer up a cash settlement for full custody of your kid. That way you don't ha e to deal with her anymore.

It won't work. The kid is her bargaining chip/meal ticket. Plus, and most importantly, the OP said he is always working and traveling for work. That wouldn't pass by a family circuit judge.

[bethanyb1201]

Unless your wages have changed she has no leg to stand on. At least in Texas that is how it is.

I lucked out and the mother of my daughter is fair. She allowed me to negotiate child support DOWN from the recommendation of the attorney general.

Funny you should mention that. There is a new law for salaried employees that go into effect 12/1. I work on a base salary plus bonus. I will be getting a 11k raise as of 12/1. She doesnt know that but she is basically pissed because she is racking up debt and I am debt free. She is just trying to make me suffer like she is. One thing I can say is she doesnt say anything bad about me to my son and doesnt threaten me with not seeing him.

[jarrodsalas]

Funny you should mention that. There is a new law for salaried employees that go into effect 12/1. I work on a base salary plus bonus. I will be getting a 11k raise as of 12/1. She doesnt know that but she is basically pissed because she is racking up debt and I am debt free. She is just trying to make me suffer like she is. One thing I can say is she doesnt say anything bad about me to my son and doesnt threaten me with not seeing him.

If that is the case you need to comply now. Not sure how it works in your state but I am staring at a letter from the AG of Texas right now on my desk asking if I would like to evaluate my case. I just moved to 1099 commission based. I won't punish her but I could. Commission based would allow me to essentially claim zero income for 6 months until they can get an average of my new income. If I had a 11k raise coming up it would benefit me to let them look at my current income as it will be locked in for 3 years.

[Bob Loblaw]

If that is the case you need to comply now. Not sure how it works in your state but I am staring at a letter from the AG of Texas right now on my desk asking if I would like to evaluate my case. I just moved to 1099 commission based. I won't punish her but I could. Commission based would allow me to essentially claim zero income for 6 months until they can get an average of my new income. If I had a 11k raise coming up it would benefit me to let them look at my current income as it will be locked in for 3 years.
You would be punishing your kid, not your ex.

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[jarrodsalas]

You would be punishing your kid, not your ex.

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I could include my entire story but my child has traveled the US with me. For an 8 year old she is better traveled than I was at her age. She gets the world from me. She is not being punished. I basically have joint custody of her but still pay to support her mother.

[cruiserdaddy7]

Ya ya I know why put your personal problems/stories online. Well in my everyday world I appear to have it all together. I am looked at as a hard ass so I have noone to talk to. NOW to my problem. When the bitch and I got divorced the wife took me to the cleaners. We had our house paid for and no debt other than her car payment. I offered her everything as long as I could see my boy on weekends(I am gone for work every week). This bitch was hell bent on taking all my baseball cards. Her lawyer had the value of my collection from beckett which helped me out in the long run. Anyway she made such a big deal about getting my cards the judge gave me the house and let her have the cards. She got screwed and she knew it. I was also ordered to pay attorney fees for her. I traded her that for everything in the house. So in the end i ended up with my clothes, my recliner and a house. I kid you not she took everything out of the house. She didnt even leave me a plate and a fork. Well I thought tje worse was over. Then the child support order came in.After this witch took everything I have to pay her 1400 a mth and all my boys medical bills. She is threatening to take me bavk to court to get more. I have no clue what to do. I refuse to pay a lawyer any more money. I have no possessions other than a tv,recliner,clothes,house. My question is could she possibly get more out of me? This #@#@#@#@ sucks.... She is mad now because she has racked up cc debit after our split and I dont have any bills. Thinking about selling house and hiding the money and living in the woods.


Illinois Child Support Calculator | IL | Free Online Tool (http://www.illinoischildsupportcalculator.com/)

[cruiserdaddy7]

Statutory Guidelines for Child Support
Statutory Guidelines for Child Support
Number of Children
Supporting Parent's Net Income
1
20%
2
28%
3
32%
4
40%
5
45%
6 or more
50%
The guidelines in the law provide a basis for minimum support expectations, which may be altered by a finding of the court. If the court determines that the resulting amount would not be appropriate based on the specific circumstances of the case, it may choose to deviate from the statutory calculations. Factors that could lead to a deviation include, but are not limited to:
The financial needs and resources of the child(ren);
The financial needs and resources of both the supporting parent and the primary custodial parent;
The standard of living the child(ren) would have enjoyed if the marriage had not ended, or if the parties had been married; and
The physical and emotional health of the child(ren) and their educational needs.

[bethanyb1201]

Illinois Child Support Calculator | IL | Free Online Tool (http://www.illinoischildsupportcalculator.com/)

Well according to that calculator she could get me for a few nore hundred a mth. Minimum wage here I come

[bethanyb1201]

Only 14 years and 10 mths left!!! Unless he goes to college... If he moves out while in college I dont have to pay her so I will be renting him an apartment lol

[Bob Loblaw]

Well according to that calculator she could get me for a few nore hundred a mth. Minimum wage here I come

Do you expect to not pay anything for your child?

[Anderdale]

Holy crap! A 11 grand raise !?

[bethanyb1201]

Do you expect to not pay anything for your child?

It was referring to me hqving to live on minimum wage after she takes her cut lol

[bethanyb1201]

Holy crap! A 11 grand raise !?

Ya a law goes into effect reguarding salaried employees OT rules. It used to be 24k and they didnt have to pay OT. 12-1 they raised it to 74500. So instead of paying me OT they are just raising me to the max so I am exempt from OT. Best part is they can only count 10% of my commission/bonus towards the 74500

[Bob Loblaw]

Holy crap! A 11 grand raise !?
FLSA...

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[JosieD]

I would try very hard to make ammends with her. It doesn't sound like you are in a place to do that right now but it may be time to put your annimosity aside and try. I don't know what happened nor do I need to know but I have seen this reaction a lot in woman who feel scorned for one reason or another. They often go after your most prized pocession in order to feel like they got back at you. I am sure you have done a lot of soul searching and I am sorry you are hurting right now.

By ammends, I don't mean getting back together. I mean making the best of the situation and becoming the best co-parents you can be. It is time to possibly swallow a bit of your pride and work something out with her. Yes, she hit you hard and low. Yes, she is trying to rake you over the coals but that doesn't mean you have to do it back. Sometimes all people need is a little bit of understanding and kindness first to recpriocate it. Good luck. I hope it all works out for you.

[babyfaceposey]

I would try very hard to make ammends with her. It doesn't sound like you are in a place to do that right now but it may be time to put on your big girl panties and try. I don't know what you did but I know when a women reacts like this by hitting you where it hurts most, you did something in her eyes that is pretty big.

By ammends, I don't mean getting back together. I mean making the best of the situation and becoming the best co-parents you can be. It is time to possibly swallow a bit of your pride and work something out with her. Yes, she hit you hard and low. Yes, she is trying to rake you over the coals but that doesn't mean you have to do it back.

You don't know if he did anything, so suggesting he put on his big girl panties is ridiculous. Let the lawyers sort it out. Bethany I was in your shoes 8 years ago. Get a lawyer and let them deal with her crap. Hopefully you get a good judge who sees through the #@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@ like I had. (Ex-wife ended up paying for my lawyer fees after taking me back to court. Cost me nothing, and child support was not increased in CA). Good luck.

[cruiserdaddy7]

I would try very hard to make ammends with her. It doesn't sound like you are in a place to do that right now but it may be time to put on your big girl panties and try. I don't know what you did but I know when a women reacts like this by hitting you where it hurts most, you did something in her eyes that is pretty big.

By ammends, I don't mean getting back together. I mean making the best of the situation and becoming the best co-parents you can be. It is time to possibly swallow a bit of your pride and work something out with her. Yes, she hit you hard and low. Yes, she is trying to rake you over the coals but that doesn't mean you have to do it back.

Put on his big girl panties? That's not even fair to say, this coming from someone that has been critical of OP in the past.

Many times, family or a new significant other will talk an ex spouse into hammering the other person. Happens quite often. Every hear the saying "misery loves company"? This may apply here.

[JosieD]

You don't know if he did anything, so suggesting he put on his big girl panties is ridiculous. Let the lawyers sort it out. Bethany I was in your shoes 8 years ago. Get a lawyer and let them deal with her crap. Hopefully you get a good judge who sees through the #@#@#@#@#@#@#@#@ like I had. (Ex-wife ended up paying for my lawyer fees after taking me back to court. Cost me nothing, and child support was not increased in CA). Good luck.


In no way am I suggesting he did anything. I am saying she has preceived something very negative to have taken place or else she wouldn't have gone after his cards. He is probably caught in some nasty cross hairs. (is that the right term?) I tell everyone to put on their big girl panties when they need to be the bigger person. It is simply a figure of speech and I highly regard women hence why I use it.

Put on his big girl panties? That's not even fair to say, this coming from someone that has been critical of OP in the past.

Many times, family or a new significant other will talk an ex spouse into hammering the other person. Happens quite often. Every hear the saying "misery loves company"? This may apply here.

Again, I am not saying this to be demeaning. See above for refrence.

I am saying when there are kids involved, you have to do what it takes to be the best co-parents ever. I am not saying he did anything wrong in this sitation. I am simply trying to say she obviously was very hurt by something.

[babyfaceposey]

In no way am I suggesting he did anything. I am saying she has preceived something very negative to have taken place or else she wouldn't have gone after his cards. He is probably caught in some nasty cross hairs. (is that the right term?) I tell everyone to put on their big girl panties when they need to be the bigger person. It is simply a figure of speech and I highly regard women hence why I use it.



Again, I am not saying this to be demeaning. See above for refrence.

I am saying when there are kids involved, you have to do what it takes to be the best co-parents ever. I am not saying he did anything wrong in this sitation. I am simply trying to say she obviously was very hurt by something.

Some women are just vindictive. I never cheated on my exwife. I was deployed, she had an affair, drained my savings of $32,000, sold my Jordan Shoe collection worth $25,000. She got everything, besides the bills which I was stuck with.

As for contact for my son. I did and still do everything through text or email. I do not take phone calls. Have been doing this for 8 years and it works.

[JosieD]

Some women are just vindictive. I never cheated on my exwife. I was deployed, she had an affair, drained my savings of $32,000, sold my Jordan Shoe collection worth $25,000. She got everything, besides the bills which I was stuck with.

As for contact for my son. I did and still do everything through text or email. I do not take phone calls. Have been doing this for 8 years and it works.

Neither one of us have any clue what really took place in their marriage.

I am sorry you were treated so poorly by her especially while you were serving our country. No one deserves to be treated like that.

[bethanyb1201]

In no way am I suggesting he did anything. I am saying she has preceived something very negative to have taken place or else she wouldn't have gone after his cards. He is probably caught in some nasty cross hairs. (is that the right term?) I tell everyone to put on their big girl panties when they need to be the bigger person. It is simply a figure of speech and I highly regard women hence why I use it.

Again, I am not saying this to be demeaning. See above for refrence.

I am saying when there are kids involved, you have to do what it takes to be the best co-parents ever. I am not saying he did anything wrong in this sitation. I am simply trying to say she obviously was very hurt by something.

i use that phrase all the time so i know what you ment. I actually didnt do anything wrong(this time). I was accused of cheating. Her best friend said she seen me with another woman. I jad cheated before but this wasnt one of the times. Kinda ironic..... Anyway her friend is heavy into pills like I used to be. Well since I got them for free she wanted me to get them for her(the friend). I told her no that I am a recovering addict and didnt want to be around the pills cause I didnt think my will power was at that level yet. Anyway after I told her no is when this crap started. She started twlling my wife all kinds of stuff. My old drug habit had nothing to do with the divorce as she was nice enough to never even bring it up. I think she will calm down one day when the truth comes out. We never had much of a relationship anyway so I think she hates me because she thinks she wasted 20 years on me.

[JosieD]

i use that phrase all the time so i know what you ment. I actually didnt do anything wrong(this time). I was accused of cheating. Her best friend said she seen me with another woman. I jad cheated before but this wasnt one of the times. Kinda ironic..... Anyway her friend is heavy into pills like I used to be. Well since I got them for free she wanted me to get them for her(the friend). I told her no that I am a recovering addict and didnt want to be around the pills cause I didnt think my will power was at that level yet. Anyway after I told her no is when this crap started. She started twlling my wife all kinds of stuff. My old drug habit had nothing to do with the divorce as she was nice enough to never even bring it up. I think she will calm down one day when the truth comes out. We never had much of a relationship anyway so I think she hates me because she thinks she wasted 20 years on me.

Hopefully, she is able to come to a point in here life where she seeks clarity and realizes her friend wasn't truthful. Does your ex-wife know her friend asked you for drugs?

[bethanyb1201]

Hopefully, she is able to come to a point in here life where she seeks clarity and realizes her friend wasn't truthful. Does your ex-wife know her friend asked you for drugs?

I tried to tell her but she doesnt believe me.

[JosieD]

I tried to tell her but she doesnt believe me.

Hopefully, her friend is also able to become sober and makes amends.

[pingbling23]

i use that phrase all the time so i know what you ment. I actually didnt do anything wrong(this time). I was accused of cheating. Her best friend said she seen me with another woman. I jad cheated before but this wasnt one of the times. Kinda ironic..... Anyway her friend is heavy into pills like I used to be. Well since I got them for free she wanted me to get them for her(the friend). I told her no that I am a recovering addict and didnt want to be around the pills cause I didnt think my will power was at that level yet. Anyway after I told her no is when this crap started. She started twlling my wife all kinds of stuff. My old drug habit had nothing to do with the divorce as she was nice enough to never even bring it up. I think she will calm down one day when the truth comes out. We never had much of a relationship anyway so I think she hates me because she thinks she wasted 20 years on me.

To think your addiction has nothing to do with your divorce is naive. That's the addict talking. Whatever you do, don't let all this stress give you an excuse for a relapse.

[bethanyb1201]

To think your addiction has nothing to do with your divorce is naive. That's the addict talking. Whatever you do, don't let all this stress give you an excuse for a relapse.

I promise you it didnt. She didnt even know about it when it was going on.... She was also supportive during the whole process amd never threw it in my face. We got along fine until her friend spread the rumors. She never even brought it up in tue divorce process. She did bring up me being unfaithfull. Trust me this woman hates me but thats one thing she never has used against me. It was quite a while after that before #@#@#@#@ hit the fan so to speak.