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View Poll Results: What do you do?
Just keep pushing! 11 25.00%
Take the laxative. 7 15.91%
I've never had this problem. 14 31.82%
Something else....Let me know please!! 12 27.27%
Voters: 44. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 01-11-2013, 03:43 PM   #1
thebear29
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Default All Stopped Up!!

So it started yesterday morning, I woke up and sat on the throne as I do every morning...And well I dropped nothing. I wiped to make sure and one little turdlet was stuck in the cheeks. So I thought well maybe after I get out of the shower, I don't like the idea of switching up the order but you've got to take care of business. Well nothing all morning. So I eat a bowl of chili from Bob Evans for lunch yesterday hoping to free something up. Well nothing. Wake up this morning hoping to get back on regular schedule...NOTHING. So, my wife tells me to take a laxative. I refuse and tell her, "I'm 33 years old and have never had this problem of dropping blanks, and I'll be damned if I'm going to take something that's going to turn my butt into the rings of fire." So I sit here (not on the throne) still constipated and ask what do you do when you are irregular?
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Old 01-11-2013, 03:44 PM   #2
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S-T-A-R-B-U-C-K-S...or dairy product, you choose.
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Old 01-11-2013, 03:46 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tajikey View Post
S-T-A-R-B-U-C-K-S...or dairy product, you choose.
But I think it was too much cheese that did it to me! My wife bought a pound of Jarlsburg Swiss and that's what I believe did it. So you are saying fight fire with fire??
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Old 01-11-2013, 03:46 PM   #4
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Pfffffffffffffffffffft. Lightweight.

Stress causes me to bind up. I have an abnormal amount of real life stress right now.

I went from Sunday night to Thursday night without dropping the kids at the pool.

If you are having a real bad time to to drug store and get a bottle of Magnesium Citrate. Drink the whole bottle and wait a couple hours.
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Old 01-11-2013, 03:47 PM   #5
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Six pack and a crave case.
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Old 01-11-2013, 03:47 PM   #6
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what a crappy thread .......
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Old 01-11-2013, 03:53 PM   #7
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Quote:
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But I think it was too much cheese that did it to me! My wife bought a pound of Jarlsburg Swiss and that's what I believe did it. So you are saying fight fire with fire??
No sir, DO NOT do that. Fight fire with Starbucks, that'll do the trick. Coffee makes my bung hole more slippery than a porn star swimming in Astroglide.
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Old 01-11-2013, 03:55 PM   #8
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Tequila + Taco Bell=Problem Solved.
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Old 01-11-2013, 03:58 PM   #9
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I got with Chili Cheese Dogs, Burgers and Fries then Thai with a lot of chili and/or Chipotle. Finish all of that off with a night of drinking, I recommend dark beers and IPAs and by morning you should be fine.

Or take a wing challenge. I was peeing out of my after a wing challenge. The horror...the horror.
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Old 01-11-2013, 03:59 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thebear29 View Post
But I think it was too much cheese that did it to me! My wife bought a pound of Jarlsburg Swiss and that's what I believe did it. So you are saying fight fire with fire??
Cheese is known as "choke arse" for a reason Unless you are in physical pain I would not worry about it. It will happen.
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:00 PM   #11
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Save money, use your finger.

Wash hands after.
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:01 PM   #12
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You probably have way too much protein in your diet. Too much protein tends to back you up.
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:01 PM   #13
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Why did I click on this thread. Regret.
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:19 PM   #14
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I believe Crocodile Dundee has the answer....Coffee.....
....
....
....
....
....
You aint drinking the coffee though.
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:21 PM   #15
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Eat a bag of corn
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:23 PM   #16
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come on man! who does number 2 work for???
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:28 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ooosh View Post
Why did I click on this thread. Regret.
Same here.
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:30 PM   #18
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There's nothing wrong with you if you don't crap like clockwork every 24 hours. What has probably happened now is that you're all worried about it so you can't crap. Stop worrying about it, stop trying to force it, grab a 6-pack of Lagunitas Maximus and a 6-pack of Taco Bell soft tacos for dinner and you'll be all good tomorrow morning.
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:30 PM   #19
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strong coffee - 2 cups and a cigarette, even if you do not smoke. lol
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:32 PM   #20
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Quote:
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Why did I click on this thread. Regret.
I share your pain.
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:36 PM   #21
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Anyone else get headaches when they push too hard? I would go with the opinion of getting some Starbucks. Turns large boulders into little pebbles
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:38 PM   #22
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I get to use this again?


Bristol stool scale - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:42 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by XL5 View Post
i think im gonna be sick!
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:53 PM   #24
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A good abb workout usually does the trick for me.
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Old 01-11-2013, 04:58 PM   #25
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