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Old 03-23-2014, 10:29 PM   #1
TOMBB25
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Default Meeting my girlfriend's son for the first time

So I'm about 30 minutes from meeting my girlfriend's son for the first time and I'm probably more nervous than when I went on my first date with her.

We've been dating for 6 weeks, which isn't very long, I know, but things have been going very well. We agreed early on that if our relationship progressed we were going to wait for me to meet her son until everyone was ready. Well tonight's the night I guess. She texted me about two hours ago and asked if I would like to have dinner with them tonight. I'm flippin' nervous. Oh he's 5 by the way

Well anyway, wish me luck, hopefully he doesn't think I'm an assh@le
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Old 03-23-2014, 10:32 PM   #2
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Good Luck!!! I think this song captures it very well.

Brad Paisley - He Didn't Have To Be - YouTube
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Old 03-23-2014, 10:33 PM   #3
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Make sure to call him by his name and not by a generic little buddy or anything of the sort. Good luck.
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Old 03-23-2014, 10:38 PM   #4
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Old 03-23-2014, 10:44 PM   #5
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Take him some cards?
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Old 03-23-2014, 10:45 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by mmbtvs View Post
Make sure to call him by his name and not by a generic little buddy or anything of the sort. Good luck.
This.

Don't pander to him and be honest. Don't try too hard.
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Old 03-23-2014, 10:52 PM   #7
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It is taking a heck of a lot of willpower to not say what I want to say right now.
Say it ya wuss
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Old 03-23-2014, 11:13 PM   #8
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Bring flowers for her, and a lollipop for him.
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Old 03-24-2014, 12:15 AM   #9
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Good luck. I'd be nervous as well.
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Old 03-24-2014, 12:27 AM   #10
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My mom was a single mom for awhile and here is what I thought about the men she dated...

Most of them sucked. They were taking my time away from her which was already very limited because she had to work multiple jobs to support us. The one guy I did like she didn't. Why did I like him: He did stuff that included the 3 of us. Things to remember:

1. At first you are nothing but competition, if you want to make it work out with this women, make sure you treat her son like he is the #1 priority in her life.
2. Let him set the pace of the relationship yet be inviting.
3. Treat him like the man of the house.

I hope it all goes well for you!
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Old 03-24-2014, 12:54 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by JosieD View Post
My mom was a single mom for awhile and here is what I thought about the men she dated...

Most of them sucked. They were taking my time away from her which was already very limited because she had to work multiple jobs to support us. The one guy I did like she didn't. Why did I like him: He did stuff that included the 3 of us. Things to remember:

1. At first you are nothing but competition, if you want to make it work out with this women, make sure you treat her son like he is the #1 priority in her life.
2. Let him set the pace of the relationship yet be inviting.
3. Treat him like the man of the house.

I hope it all goes well for you!
Probably the worst piece of advice. Say down the road you decide to move in together and/or get married. You do not want this child in his teenage years feeling like he is the man of the house. Its looking waaayyyy ahead but maybe this thing works out for you. Treat the kid with respect but remember...he is a child.
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Old 03-24-2014, 01:13 AM   #12
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Probably the worst piece of advice. Say down the road you decide to move in together and/or get married. You do not want this child in his teenage years feeling like he is the man of the house. Its looking waaayyyy ahead but maybe this thing works out for you. Treat the kid with respect but remember...he is a child.
Obviously, the dynamics will change if things do mature into a long term relationship. If they move in together, the roles will need to clearly be defined.
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Old 03-24-2014, 01:37 AM   #13
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Run and run fast. Why did she run off the last daddy?
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Old 03-24-2014, 01:47 AM   #14
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Just be yourself. Either the kid will like you or he won't. If you can't connect with the kid on some level, it is probably a good idea to look for another gal. My niece never connected with the guy her mom started dating a few years ago, and things are a complete fuster cluck when she and her mom's beau are in the same vicinity.
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Old 03-24-2014, 01:50 AM   #15
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I posted a picture of the Free Candy van and it got deleated and this picture does not get deleated?

Blowout consistency in full effect.
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Old 03-24-2014, 01:59 AM   #16
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Hand him a $5 dollar bill or a pack of 2014 Topps Series 1 and tell him to give you a big hug at the end of the night. That'll get you 1000 points from the momma

-Brandon
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Old 03-24-2014, 02:04 AM   #17
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I posted a picture of the Free Candy van and it got deleated and this picture does not get deleated?

Blowout consistency in full effect.
You don't say
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Old 03-24-2014, 03:08 AM   #18
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Thanks for all the posts guys. I guess my thread title was questionable

It went well, I didn't call him little buddy or anything lol. He acted pretty normal other than showing off a bit. He even gave me a hug when he went to bed, which was sweet. Good end to the day overall. A little background to my situation, when I was about 27, I found out I couldn't have children, so dating someone with a child is actually a positive thing for me, I always thought I would have kids, so the possibility of never having them has been something I have fought with for the past 5 years.

For the person who said bring him cards, I didn't do that because I don't want his mom to leave me She has no idea what a sick and obsessed breed we are.
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Old 03-24-2014, 03:12 AM   #19
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Quote:
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Obviously, the dynamics will change if things do mature into a long term relationship. If they move in together, the roles will need to clearly be defined.
I read that as him just saying don't walk in and try to pretend I'm daddy.

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Run and run fast. Why did she run off the last daddy?
lol, I asked her that too, I've been through a divorce, I know these women be crazy! She split from him because he had some really bad anger management issues. He's still in the son's life, just not with her any longer.

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Hand him a $5 dollar bill or a pack of 2014 Topps Series 1 and tell him to give you a big hug at the end of the night. That'll get you 1000 points from the momma

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I actually had a batman action figure still in the package in my car that I found in my closet (because all of us weirdos have on-card action figures lying around). I never brought it out though, that was only if I had to buy his affection.
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Old 03-24-2014, 08:57 AM   #20
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And please don't do anything that the kid would see or hear , and scar him for life......that's the worst...........take it from someone that's lived it
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Old 03-24-2014, 09:00 AM   #21
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And please don't do anything that the kid would see or hear , and scar him for life......that's the worst...........take it from someone that's lived it
Didn't your mom ever tell you to lock the door when you are doing that?
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Old 03-24-2014, 09:18 AM   #22
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Quote:
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I posted a picture of the Free Candy van and it got deleated and this picture does not get deleated?

Blowout consistency in full effect.
You got off lucky...I would have been suspended.


Back OT...Hope it works out for you. Its always dicey when getting into a relationship with someone that already has a kid.

Hopefully baby daddy isnt a jerkoff etc.
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:57 AM   #23
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Glad it went well, Tom. I can understand why you'd be nervous, that is a big step. Hope everything with her/him continues to go well!
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Old 03-24-2014, 11:09 AM   #24
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he's 5. this is much better than him being older (and younger tbh). He can communicate and interact with you without being a raging dick.


just be natural and don't try to be "dad" right off the bat.
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Old 03-24-2014, 11:31 AM   #25
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Get some inside info from your girlfriend on what he likes

and get him one of those. That is all it will take.

Also take him somewhere he likes to eat.
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