Any Parents raise there kids this way?

DaveTaplin · 08-19-2012, 05:09 PM

My brother has a 10 year old son. The kid never says please or thank you. I asked my brother about this and his answer was something to the effect of:

We are raising him so he only says the things he feels. By telling him when to say please or thank you we are telling him how to think, and that isn't right.

Wtf?

Am I missing something here? Seems like they are stacking the deck against the kid. I hated writing thank you notes and such as a kid but I am really glad I learned I was supposed to say my please and thank you's. I feel bad for my nephew.

JosieD · 08-19-2012, 05:20 PM

We are teaching our boys manners. Kids need to taught how to show gratitude and I believe that starts at an early age. My 17 month old says thank you.

avjp87 · 08-19-2012, 05:20 PM

your brother sounds like a bit of a moron.

TrueNE_09 · 08-19-2012, 05:23 PM

Ouch. No offense meant towards your brother and his/their parenting decisions, but this is nuts to me. So, just to be clear....they are letting him say what he wants, when he wants....but he never says those things (please, thank you, etc)? So, isn't this a signal to them that their program isn't working? Sorry, but this is crazy to me. Have you suggested to your brother that it doesn't seem to working and might be a good idea to thing about approacching things differently?

ajlaxmn · 08-19-2012, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaveTaplin

My brother has a 10 year old son. The kid never says please or thank you. I asked my brother about this and his answer was something to the effect of:

We are raising him so he only says the things he feels. By telling him when to say please or thank you we are telling him how to think, and that isn't right.

Wtf?

Am I missing something here? Seems like they are stacking the deck against the kid. I hated writing thank you notes and such as a kid but I am really glad I learned I was supposed to say my please and thank you's. I feel bad for my nephew.

Holy #@#@#@#@ you live in West Gardiner, ME? I have family over there in Pittston, both my cousins went to Gardiner and one was on the State champ football team in '07.

By the way that sounds like a clowns way to raise a kid.

ilovethelakings · 08-19-2012, 05:28 PM

So was this a solo decision made by your bro or did his woman have any say in this less than admirable way to raise a child?

TheHeel · 08-19-2012, 05:50 PM

My son is trained to have manners. He knows his role as a child.k

It's all about having home training.

notravels10 · 08-19-2012, 05:59 PM

You live what you learn

w8lifter28 · 08-19-2012, 06:04 PM

Definitely messed up. My daughter is 2 and she says please and thank you for everything

XL5 · 08-19-2012, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaveTaplin

We are raising him so he only says the things he feels. By telling him when to say please or thank you we are telling him how to think, and that isn't right.

So I take it they didn't teach him language or math or how to tie his shoes? Does he even wear clothes?

Manners are a learned skill just like everything else. By not teaching him manners they're denying him a valuable skill set. Nice.

fm8418 · 08-19-2012, 06:17 PM

My 2 year old son has them backwards right now. If you hold the door for him he says "you're welcome" or he's just vein

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheHeel

My son is trained to have manners. He knows his role as a child.k

It's all about having home training.

home training does sound like pumping out from a factory.

The Madbacker · 08-19-2012, 06:25 PM

You're brother is an idiot. I'm sure they dance in Birkenstocks and eat granola all the time.

Congratulations on getting both the brains AND the looks (I'm assuming).

cruiserdaddy7 · 08-19-2012, 06:29 PM

Talk about the granola way to raise children. All about feelings etc etc etc. I knew a family just like this. Everything was about allowing their children to express themselves. They also thought circumcision was wrong for their sons because it should be their choice(the sons). They never cut their hair and various other odd things.

My daughter at 2 is well versed in manners, as she should be. Problem is she still says Thank You and then Your Welcome right after each other. Its the effort that counts.

DaveTaplin · 08-19-2012, 06:32 PM

Thanks everyone for confirming I am not the idiot in the family. Like several of you I have a 2 year old that says please and thank you in some random order, or just really loud.

mainerunr · 08-19-2012, 06:32 PM

that would be no....I raise my kids to have manners and respect.

fm8418 · 08-19-2012, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cruiserdaddy7

My daughter at 2 is well versed in manners, as she should be. Problem is she still says Thank You and then Your Welcome right after each other. Its the effort that counts.

It's also incredibly cute when they do this

TrueNE_09 · 08-19-2012, 06:50 PM

This is so funny/cute/etc! I can just imagine

Maybe he's vein...you are right!

Quote:

Originally Posted by fm8418

My 2 year old son has them backwards right now. If you hold the door for him he says "you're welcome" or he's just vein

home training does sound like pumping out from a factory.

Nicnac · 08-19-2012, 06:50 PM

Sounds very American to me along with "my kids don't need video game or movie ratings"...

dthimesch · 08-19-2012, 07:07 PM

My kids will learn to say please and thank you, open doors for people, and respect their elders. If that is telling them how to think then so be it. My kid will be a better kid than one that is not told how to think then.

notravels10 · 08-19-2012, 07:16 PM

Being told to show respect and act respectful to others are not the same as how to think and act how you "feel" somtimes I feel like cracking heads but dont because it is not right

carlo16 · 08-19-2012, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nicnac

Sounds very American to me along with "my kids don't need video game or movie ratings"...

Where are you from? Off the top of my head, id say 60% of your posts tell us how bad we do it. Well please offer some suggestions to help the stupid American.

frozenntimesports · 08-19-2012, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaveTaplin

We are raising him so he only says the things he feels. By telling him when to say please or thank you we are telling him how to think, and that isn't right.

Two words

Hell no!

upsbroker06 · 08-19-2012, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carlo16

Where are you from? Off the top of my head, id say 60% of your posts tell us how bad we do it. Well please offer some suggestions to help the stupid American.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has picked up on this.

fullmetal · 08-19-2012, 08:07 PM

I was raised in a 'Yes sir', 'Yes ma'am' family. I still use it today out of both habit and respect.

armyatc22 · 08-19-2012, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by avjp87

your brother sounds like a bit of a moron.

Another post where I actually Laughed out Loud...

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Madbacker

You're brother is an idiot. I'm sure they dance in Birkenstocks and eat granola all the time.

Congratulations on getting both the brains AND the looks (I'm assuming).

Started laughing even harder when I read this!!!

-------------

I don't know what it is but everyone that we hang out with has devil children...they get away with murder and are always acting crazy...I know kids are going to be kids but parents need to put down the phone, get off the computer or whatever and take care if your kids.

All we do is raise them to be good and respectful kids...nothing too hard and we get compliments everywhere we go about how good they are

Somehow you need to step in and have a brotherly talk about it..they are his kids so he can raise them anyways he wants but unless something changes they might be auditioning for 16 and pregnant in a few years

08-19-2012, 05:09 PM	#1
DaveTaplin Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Rockland, Me Posts: 1,535	Any Parents raise there kids this way? My brother has a 10 year old son. The kid never says please or thank you. I asked my brother about this and his answer was something to the effect of: We are raising him so he only says the things he feels. By telling him when to say please or thank you we are telling him how to think, and that isn't right. Wtf? Am I missing something here? Seems like they are stacking the deck against the kid. I hated writing thank you notes and such as a kid but I am really glad I learned I was supposed to say my please and thank you's. I feel bad for my nephew.

08-19-2012, 05:20 PM	#2
JosieD Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 33,826	We are teaching our boys manners. Kids need to taught how to show gratitude and I believe that starts at an early age. My 17 month old says thank you. __________________ #TEAMConnor #TeamLeoneez Day of Breakfast successful! Thank you! instagram: @oldschoolboxbreaks Last edited by JosieD; 08-19-2012 at 05:24 PM.

08-19-2012, 05:23 PM	#4
TrueNE_09 Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Boston Posts: 16,508	Ouch. No offense meant towards your brother and his/their parenting decisions, but this is nuts to me. So, just to be clear....they are letting him say what he wants, when he wants....but he never says those things (please, thank you, etc)? So, isn't this a signal to them that their program isn't working? Sorry, but this is crazy to me. Have you suggested to your brother that it doesn't seem to working and might be a good idea to thing about approacching things differently? __________________ Generally looking for BGS-graded autographs of Andrew Benintendi from Topps/Bowman products

08-19-2012, 05:28 PM	#6
ilovethelakings I make a lot of posts! Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: One of the 9 Realms Posts: 18,871	So was this a solo decision made by your bro or did his woman have any say in this less than admirable way to raise a child? __________________ Looking for A&G sized minis and Topps Olympic relics, pins, etc. for my daughter and refractors for my son Favorite teams: Kings, Angels, Broncos, Packers, Steelers, Celtics, Globetrotters Siempre Coca Cola

08-19-2012, 05:50 PM	#7
TheHeel Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 15,580	My son is trained to have manners. He knows his role as a child.k It's all about having home training. __________________ 48,230, 52,879, 40,400, 4,780 Pending Deals: Last edited by iluvfish2; 08-23-2019 at 08:28 PM. Reason: avatar removed

08-19-2012, 05:20 PM	#3
avjp87 Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Virginia Posts: 12,052 avjp87	your brother sounds like a bit of a moron.

08-19-2012, 05:59 PM	#8
notravels10 Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: san diego Posts: 939 kellen619 kellen619	You live what you learn __________________ Go padres! Go Chargers! GO Aztec's!!!!!

08-19-2012, 06:04 PM	#9
w8lifter28 Banned Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Cincinnati Posts: 4,508	Definitely messed up. My daughter is 2 and she says please and thank you for everything

08-19-2012, 06:25 PM	#12
The Madbacker Banned Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: COS, CO Posts: 7,401 themadbacker	You're brother is an idiot. I'm sure they dance in Birkenstocks and eat granola all the time. Congratulations on getting both the brains AND the looks (I'm assuming).

08-19-2012, 06:29 PM	#13
cruiserdaddy7 Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 15,559 Cruiserdaddy7	Talk about the granola way to raise children. All about feelings etc etc etc. I knew a family just like this. Everything was about allowing their children to express themselves. They also thought circumcision was wrong for their sons because it should be their choice(the sons). They never cut their hair and various other odd things. My daughter at 2 is well versed in manners, as she should be. Problem is she still says Thank You and then Your Welcome right after each other. Its the effort that counts.

08-19-2012, 06:32 PM	#14
DaveTaplin Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Rockland, Me Posts: 1,535	Thanks everyone for confirming I am not the idiot in the family. Like several of you I have a 2 year old that says please and thank you in some random order, or just really loud.

08-19-2012, 06:32 PM	#15
mainerunr Member Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 3,558	that would be no....I raise my kids to have manners and respect.

08-19-2012, 06:50 PM	#18
Nicnac Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: nutty Florida Posts: 12,281	Sounds very American to me along with "my kids don't need video game or movie ratings"...

08-19-2012, 07:07 PM	#19
dthimesch Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Gilbert, AZ Posts: 32,799	My kids will learn to say please and thank you, open doors for people, and respect their elders. If that is telling them how to think then so be it. My kid will be a better kid than one that is not told how to think then. __________________ @dt_sportscards YouTube

08-19-2012, 07:16 PM	#20
notravels10 Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: san diego Posts: 939 kellen619 kellen619	Being told to show respect and act respectful to others are not the same as how to think and act how you "feel" somtimes I feel like cracking heads but dont because it is not right __________________ Go padres! Go Chargers! GO Aztec's!!!!!

08-19-2012, 08:07 PM	#24
fullmetal Banned Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 13,249	I was raised in a 'Yes sir', 'Yes ma'am' family. I still use it today out of both habit and respect.